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Resources for Students Who May Have Caused Harm

Are you concerned that you have or may have caused harm in a sexual or dating relationship?

Oftentimes, people who are concerned that they have or may have caused harm in a sexual or dating relationship, or have been told that they have caused harm, may not be aware of educational and mental health resources that may help to address these concerns. We all cause harm in some way and when we do cause harm, healing and accountability can help both you and the person who has experienced the harm, along with addressing underlying concerns that may influence the harm that folks cause. 

The following are some questions that you may be having:

  • A previous partner shared that I caused them sexual harm. Does this mean I will always cause harm to my partners?
  • I have caused sexual harm. Will I ever enjoy sex again? Will I always be worried about this when having sex with someone?
  • What do I do if mid-hook-up my partner decides they no longer want to have sex?
  • What if my partner verbally says “yes” but their body language is tense and not engaged?
  • If a partner says “yes” to certain sexual activity, does that always mean yes?

Resources for students at the University of Utah:

The University of Utah Counseling Center (UCC) provides mental health counseling for U students  who may be concerned about engaging in harmful sexual and dating behaviors and/or have been told that they have harmed someone.  

Call 801-581-6826 or go to the UCC website to schedule an appointment for an Initial Consultation (IC).

Please note that services at the UCC follow HIPAA and are confidential (with exceptions for when someone is in immediate risk to hurt themself or others, as well as in situations where child abuse/neglect is being reported). Otherwise, UCC is not mandated to make a report to The U or to any external entity.

 

External Resources

The three following resources are education-based, designed for folks who have caused harm to learn strategies on how to engage respectfully when being confronted, take accountability, repair relationships, find justice, and more.

So You Hurt Someone
A helpful 5-slide resource that outlines how to respond if someone says you crossed the line whether it be the person who was directly harmed on a concerned third party.
Explore this Resource
Let's Talk: You are Told that YOU Have Crossed the Line
The article offers a guide on how to responsibly handle conversations about the impact of one's actions on others, emphasizing the importance of listening, acknowledging the harm, and reflecting on ways to make amends.
Explore this Let's Talk
Transform Harm: A Resource Hub for Ending Violence
This website is a resource hub for exploring and educating on transformative justice, restorative justice, and related topics, offering articles, media, curricula, and more to support efforts in ending violence and fostering community-based solutions.
Explore Transform Harm

External Resources - Preventing Harm

The three following resources are education-based, meant for you to learn about healthy behaviors such as how to engage in respectful and consensual sexual relationships.

What's OK
"What's OK" provides free, confidential support for individuals with questions about sexual thoughts, behaviors, and interests. Through email, chat, text, or phone, users can connect with expert counselors who offer a safe, non-judgmental space to seek answers and feel supported without fear of shame or pressure.
Explore What's OK
Tips for Respecting Other’s Boundaries
The article offers practical tips for improving the respect of others' boundaries, including understanding their needs, observing non-verbal cues, practicing empathy, and seeking help if needed, emphasizing that respecting boundaries fosters trust, safety, and healthier relationships.
Explore these Tips
What is Sexual Consent*?
The article provides a comprehensive overview of sexual consent, outlining its essential components—including capacity, information, agreement, and autonomy—and offers practical guidelines for ensuring that all parties involved in a sexual situation are actively engaged in a clear, mutual, and respectful process of consent.
Learn More About Consent